rich36, on 24 January 2013 - 10:25 AM, said:
The only harsh reality is what your obituary is going to look like..maybe something like this:
"MIGHTY JNC 195-something to (insert date of death here)-
Internet doooshbag..died with family at home in Charlotte never having seen his beloved Philadelphia Eagles win a Super Bowl"
No, more like:
"Beloved husband, father and grandfather, renowned for his tireless charitable efforts, died peacefully at home surrounded by family and loved ones. Services to be held Saturday at 3 pm, the church recommends early arrival as they expect standing room only, local law enforcement has gladly volunteered to provide traffic control."
Unfortunately I fully expect to see an obscure blurb in the NYDN around next Dec that reads:
"Westchester resident "little ricky", 25, best known as the inspiration for the Patton Oswalt character in the independent film "Big Fan", was found by his cold-water flat landlady early Monday morning hung by his jersey underoo's with a Corky hand puppet inserted in his rectum. No foul play is suspected and police have ruled the death a suicide.
When reached for comment his parents, infamously known in the community as "Big Momma & the Tranny" were quoted as slurring "we knew he was seriously distraught over how poorly jersey's season had gone but we never suspected just how bad it was. We have tried so many times to get him interested in other things like girls and involved in activities outside the home but he would have none of it, that damn team was just his whole life. Oh' well, F' him, he's better off."
As per his last wishes, little ricky will be cremated with his ashes spread in a drainage ditch in the swampland adjacent to MetLife stadium followed by a brief memorial service at "B Lounge", Westchester county's most flamboyant g** bar. All denominations and orientations are welcome, the 2 appletini minimum and a turn in the barrel will be strictly enforced.
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