There once was a lady who was tired of living with men who were either physically abusive,who ran away from her, or who were horrible in bed. So she put an Ad in the paper, that was asking for a man who: 1)would treat her nicely 2)wouldn't run away from her, 3)would be good in bed. Three weeks passed, and there was no reply from any man. So she just figured that there wasn't a man alive who could live up to these expectations, so she just gave up. But then, one day she heard the doorbell ring. She
answered it, and there on the front porch was Vern. Vern had his arms and legs bound together and said "I'm here about the ad you put in the paper". "As you can see, My arms are tied so I can't beat you, and my legs are tied so I can't run away." The woman replied, 'Yes, but are you good in bed?' And Vern said with a smirk on his face, 'How do you think I rang the doorbell?'