Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

SLC

*Official "Vernon Davis sexual prowess" Thread*

Recommended Posts

Groundskeepers at the former "Candlestick Park" were instructed to build a rail system to carry Vern's girth. The groundskeepers were more than happy about the work order as it would prevent them from re-sodding 3 foot wide strips after every home game.

user posted image

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Groundskeepers at the former "Candlestick Park" were instructed to build a rail system to carry Vern's girth.  The groundskeepers were more than happy about the work order as it would prevent them from re-sodding 3 foot wide strips after every home game.

user posted image

8309091[/snapback]

laugh.gif

I wub.gif Vern

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
ph34r.gif

8307494[/snapback]

Good work, I was going to do the same soon.

Groundskeepers at the former "Candlestick Park" were instructed to build a rail system to carry Vern's girth.  The groundskeepers were more than happy about the work order as it would prevent them from re-sodding 3 foot wide strips after every home game.

user posted image

8309091[/snapback]

sideroll.gif

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Groundskeepers at the former "Candlestick Park" were instructed to build a rail system to carry Vern's girth.  The groundskeepers were more than happy about the work order as it would prevent them from re-sodding 3 foot wide strips after every home game.

user posted image

8309091[/snapback]

sideroll.gif Smart thinking. laugh.gif

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
If Vern's member destroyed 300 women in the forest, would it make a sound?

8313254[/snapback]

Oh my God. The immense size of Vern's manhood has truly gone to his head if he now thinks of himself as Xerxes.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
For fear of making people uncomfortable, Vern always showered with swimming trunks on after games and practice.  However, he knew he could no longer get away with that in the NFL without being the subject of ridicule.

After his first 49ers practice, he walked to the locker room shower, brandished his junk in front of other men for the first time, and they all became instantly gay.

Thousands of miles away (on a remote island) a massive electromagnetic pulse was detected and the skies turned purple.

Was their button pushing somehow keeping his junk unbrandished?

Did his impending junk reveal somehow compel them to stop pushing the button?

Is Vern even real or is he a metaphor?

user posted image

user posted image

8307605[/snapback]

sideroll.gif

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Vernon Davis has such a huge D and it's been honed to such an extent by plundering so many female orifi, that he's being considered as a replacement drill should the Arctic National Wildlife Refuge ever be opened for oil exploration.

8055035[/snapback]

orifi laugh.gif

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

this thread is 'G' to the 'A' to they 'Y'

why do you give a crap about another mans wood???

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
this thread is 'G' to the 'A' to they 'Y'

why do you give a crap about another mans wood???

8319171[/snapback]

We are just making stuff up. YOU are the one reading it.

So what is G to the A to the Y again?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
We are just making stuff up.  YOU are the one reading it.

So what is G to the A to the Y again?

8319369[/snapback]

of course im reading it.. i thought he actually did something or got caught doing something.. but i guess ur just having a little fruity fun with this..

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
of course im reading it..  i thought he actually did something or got caught doing something.. but i guess ur just having a little fruity fun with this..

8320245[/snapback]

Says the guy with so little confidence in his own manhood. In place of that, may I suggest searching your true feelings, which in your case I have no doubt would result in the dropping of trou in some secluded location behind a rest stop.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
of course im reading it..

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
this thread is 'G' to the 'A' to they 'Y'

why do you give a crap about another mans wood???

8319171[/snapback]

You should care about Vern, he may be the father of your child soon.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Almost to the year where Verns member made it onto the scene.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Vernon Davis P is so big, we're all living in it

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

The seven-and-a-halfth floor in Being John Malkovich was originally designed as a wang storage tank for Vern when he was an intern on the 8th floor.

Additionally, it had no magical powers powers before he worked there.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Vern's member is so large it has outgrown our standard units of measurment. From this point on it shall be measured in units of time. For example : Vern's unit is two years long when fully grown, about 7 months long while he sleeps.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

This is a great draft at tightend in 2008 Vernon Davis will declare for the Nfl Draft. Vernons shlong will make history by being the only man and schlong to be drafted in the 1st round at diffrent positions. Yes you heard it here first the top Prospect in the Nfl draft ( Vernons Schlong) will be suiting up as linebacker. When asked about the desicion to line up opposite of the rest of him he replied " Glup, glup...glub..Squirt?" Which roughly translate to

" I just want to pound some Tightends!"

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

The San Francisco Tribune is reporting that the 49ers are considering replacing the Offensive Line with Veron's wang on passing downs, creating the first 4 TE-4 WR set formation.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites