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*Official "Vernon Davis sexual prowess" Thread*

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Verns definiton of a breakout season is a perforated colon.

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After Hurricane Katrina, Vern donated his freshly cut foreskin to re-cover the Superdome roof. Three thousand 55 gallon drums of his splooge were painted on the top to give the roof the pearly white finish. It took Vernon approximately 1 hour to fill all of the drums.

BTW, awesome thread! Funniest thing I have read in years.

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Wow...how did I miss this thread? Late to the game...but here it goes.

Vernons wang is home to 5 distict cultures, all with the own language. His contract allows extra money for Vernon to send a sherpa to hike to the tip to tell it when to pee.

Vernons wang still has snow on it in the summertime.

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Vern is having a monster year.

Some experts are predicting that the total number fantasy football points he has this year will eclipse the amount of children he has illegitimately fathered. While some still remain skeptical about this prediction, one thing is for sure... Vernon Davis has once and for all *BUSTED* onto NFL the scene.

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Vern is having a monster year.

Some experts are predicting that the total number fantasy football points he has this year will eclipse the amount of children he has illegitimately fathered. While some still remain skeptical about this prediction, one thing is for sure... Vernon Davis has once and for all *BUSTED* onto NFL the scene.

:roll:

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Well... another week gone by, another TD scored, and 30 more Bay Area women unintentionally impregnated by Vern.

The U.S. Health and Human Services Department is urging all women ages 18-35 in the Philadelphia area to stay clear of Lincoln Financial Field this weekend. The number of foster children in the tri-state area has grown in recent years and there is fear that if Vern is left unchecked the whole system could be overwhelmed in 9 months.

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This thread should be pinned for this weeks matchup.

Vern is going to unload on this city this weekend.

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This thread should be pinned for this weeks matchup.

Rumor has it some sort of curfew is going to be implemented when the 49ers touch down. All women 18-35 have to remain indoors.

Vern is going to unload on this city this weekend.

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This thread should be pinned for this weeks matchup.

Rumor has it some sort of curfew is going to be implemented when the 49ers touch down. All women 18-35 have to remain indoors.

Vern is going to unload on this city this weekend.

Is he like Peter North?

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This thread should be pinned for this weeks matchup.

Rumor has it some sort of curfew is going to be implemented when the 49ers touch down. All women 18-35 have to remain indoors.

Vern is going to unload on this city this weekend.

And be no less than 10 feet away from the nearest television.

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This thread should be pinned for this weeks matchup.

Rumor has it some sort of curfew is going to be implemented when the 49ers touch down. All women 18-35 have to remain indoors.

Vern is going to unload on this city this weekend.

:lol:

just to be safe I sent my wife out of state for the weekend

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:lol:

just to be safe I sent my wife out of state for the weekend

Well, if in 9 months you are blessed with a little bundle of joy that has a huge package, you'll no she didn't listen.

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Well, if in 9 months you are blessed with a little bundle of joy that has a huge package, you'll no she didn't listen.

that would definitely rule me out of being the kid's dad

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When Vern asks a woman if they have "a little Captain in them", he's actually just playing wingman for his best friend in a soon-to-be-very weird threeway.

Matt%20Leinart%20Foundation%20Celebrity%

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A lot of people overlook the size of Vern's heart because his junk elephantitis snags all the headlines, but I know what kind of guy he is beneath the rough exterior.

Here's a snapshop of some charity work he's about to do (pictured right).

VernonDavis.jpg

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that would definitely rule me out of being the kid's dad

Don't worry. I hear Vern donated some hair samples to an unnamed male enhancement institute. The first few test subjects died after their junk exploded but the research sounds promising.

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