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*Official "Vernon Davis sexual prowess" Thread*

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How many women will it take? How many children will he make? Sometimes the burden can seem too much... but it's a burden only Vern can shoulder.

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Another NFL year is about to begin. Let's all take this moment to remember the well hung Vernspawn that will grow up without a father.

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Vernon just arrived back in San Francisco from his most recent east coast trip. The 49ers coach said the absence was excused because he had "a date with Irene".

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Vernon just arrived back in San Francisco from his most recent east coast trip. The 49ers coach said the absence was excused because he had "a date with Irene".

:roll:

Now the reports of Irene's broken "eye" make alot more sense.

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There once was a lady who was tired of living with men who were either physically abusive,who ran away from her, or who were horrible in bed. So she put an Ad in the paper, that was asking for a man who: 1)would treat her nicely 2)wouldn't run away from her, 3)would be good in bed. Three weeks passed, and there was no reply from any man. So she just figured that there wasn't a man alive who could live up to these expectations, so she just gave up. But then, one day she heard the doorbell ring. She

answered it, and there on the front porch was Vern. Vern had his arms and legs bound together and said "I'm here about the ad you put in the paper". "As you can see, My arms are tied so I can't beat you, and my legs are tied so I can't run away." The woman replied, 'Yes, but are you good in bed?' And Vern said with a smirk on his face, 'How do you think I rang the doorbell?'

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Vern, photographed here with a device he had custom built to clean those hard-to-reach places (the end of his meat hammer).

vernon%20curling%20-%20vernon%20with%20broom.jpg

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Showing his versatility, Vern decides to split a few sides with a humorous anecdote (instead of torsos, with his flesh ax).

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Where sis all of this come from? Pointless thread

Where do boobs come from? Where does bacon come from? Just because you don't know the origin of something doesn't mean it can't be great. Jump in, give it a shot.

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Once upon a time, a high school football team used Vernon's meat sword as the chain between down markers.

Once upon a time, Vernon was awarded for his humanitarian efforts after it was discovered that a homeless man was taking refuge under his giant beef tube.

Once upon a time, movie theatres honored Big V by changing their official popcorn sizes to Small, Medium, Large, Family, and Vernon's D.

This has been "Once Upon a Time" with Vernon Davis

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Get ready philly the VD is coming, most likely on your broken hipped woman. CLICK CLACK!

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Vernon Davis's personal C-5 cargo plane has just landed @ Dover Air Force base with a weekend supply of Jimmy Hats.

nqe1pc.jpg

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Vernon Davis's personal C-5 cargo plane has just landed @ Dover Air Force base with a weekend supply of Jimmy Hats.

nqe1pc.jpg

I've got news for you, that C-5 IS his jimmy hat.

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what the hell?????

I know right...? It's huge!

Btw, want kids? If not, don't let your wife/girlfriend anywhere near the TV this weekend.

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Vernon Davis's personal C-5 cargo plane has just landed @ Dover Air Force base with a weekend supply of Jimmy Hats.

nqe1pc.jpg

Everyone was wondering why a military aircraft had a license plate on it that said "1 BG DK"

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