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Pittman4Two

My Preseasonal 2008 NFL League Power Rankings

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Eagles fans,

It's been a while since I've appeared on your message board. The reason for this is because I've spent this offseason going through udderly every publication that has to do with the NFL League. True, there hasn't been a lot of them up to this point, but that doesn't mean I couldn't read last year's and build a strong, yet factual argument for this season. The internets are a great tool to use to find the most minute (my-noot), sparse detail when calculating power rankings.

Below you will find the power rankings as I see them. These are NOT power rankings that have been used elsewhere. You will NOT find these on ESPN or Sportscenter. You will NOT see Pat Kirwan or Regis Philbin read these on the television. These are uniquely mine and you will find that they are in line with how the league in and of itself ranks.

The Preseasonal 2008 Power Rankings of the NFL League

1. The Tampa Bay Buccanneers (2007 NFC Southern Division Champions, Super Bowl Champions, Super Bowl XXXIIIX Champions, Head Coach - Jon Gruden, GM - Bruce Allen) - Another prolific offseason under the leadership of THE offensive strategic genius. Warrick Dunn returns to re-inject some speed, agility, leadership, and speed to this young ballclub. Look for the Bucs to continue where they left off in the 1st quarter of the playoff game. Jeff Garthia returns to be back under center for a run for yet another championship.

2. The Seattle Seahawks Some may say this may be a tad high, but with the 'Hawks keeping Shaun Alexander out of the media spotlight and off the practice field, they obviously are keeping him fresh for long, long season which will include playoffs and a visit to Tampa where they will lose the NFCCCG.

3. The New England Patriots - Some call it cheating, I call it keeping up with the Joneses'. The reality of it all is that the Patriots still won those games even though they may have been cheating. You can chalk that up to solid coaching and good study habits.

4. The Cleveland Browns – The days of Tim Couch are long gone and the Browns have finally found a legitimate replacement in Derek Anderson. He already has championship experience from his father’s Super Bowl appearance. It’s up to Carmen Policy and the rest of the Browns front office to give him the necessary supporting cast. The Browns are not too far away from a wild card berth.

5. The Dallas Cowboys – Romomentum hit a snag against the would-be champion G-Men, but look for Wade Phillips, Bum’s son, to continue improvement and try to win more games. Ratings of Cowboys games will continue to skyrocket because of singer/actress/hottie Jessica Simpson’s attendeeship of home games. It also appears that Roy Williams may have some problems in coverage. Look for teams to uncover that and expose him in passing coverage.

6. The New York Giants – Eli Manning shocked the world last season with his acting ability in several of those ESPN commercials with brother Peyton and father Eli. Giants fans now have a real reason to follow Eli and support him in his acting career if he retires from football.

7. The Indianapolis Colts – Peyton Manning will do all he can to emerge from younger brother Eli’s shadow by leading this high potent offense under the tutolage of Coach Dungy.

8. The New Orleans Saints – Drew Brees continues to impress season after season. I would like to see him become more involved in special teams. There is nothing more strategic than a QB who can punt. Look at Danny White and Tom Tupa.

9. The San Diego Chargers – San Dee-ah-go…I believe that’s Spanish for something…I can’t put my finger on it. Anywho, LaDainian Tomlinson has assured himself a starting position after the recent annexation of Michael Turner. The young TCUan can now focus on leading this team to the elusive championship.

10. The Miami Dolphins – You’ve heard it here first. The Dolphins will turn the world upside down and make a playoff run. You can’t undermine a coach like Bill Parcells when he’s buying groceries. He obviously knows how to eat and now he’ll teach that to his players. Hang on Dolphins fans…it’s going to be a fun ride to respectability.

11. The Green Bay Packers – Brett Favre has finally retired. Packer nation now is left with millions of #4 jerseys that are now worthless and outdated…just something to think about when purchasing a jersey. Aaron "Five Hours” Rodgers takes over the controls of one of the most storied franchises in Green Bay. Nothing like a little pressure for the young laddie.

12. The Tennessee Titans – I’ve always liked Jeff Fisher. He’s never been one to conform and that’s why he continues to be a solid coach. He doesn’t care that bushy mustaches are out and slim, well-kempt mustaches are in. Fisher has a solid defense anchored by 11 NFL-caliber players. He has confidence that those players will continue to tackle ballcarriers no matter the cost.

13. The Washington Redskins – Left-arm handed QB Mark Brunell has probably seen his final days as a starter in Washington since the emergence of future legend Jason Earl Campbell. Campbell has all the tools, all the talent, and all the skills to lead the Redskins to victory. Joe Gibbs’ tough-love with Jason will pay off in large amounts when he’s making a speech in Canton. Brandon Floyd needs to make a mark and help bring Moss and Randelel to his level of solid WR play.

14. The Atlanta Falcons – Now that we all know that Vick will not suit up for the Falcons this season. It’s up to the next quarterback to handle the quarterbacking duties. The question now is…will the curse of Morten Anderson still haunt the Georgia Dome?

15. The Kansas City Chiefs – It seems like just last season when we were all entertained by watching Brodie Croyle and the other guy contest each other in HBO’s Hard Knocks series. I enjoyed viewing Croyle’s girlfriend/wife/sister/whatever. I think there’s a spinoff there. It’s nice to see Croyle has support from a loved one. This will transcend the support the fans have of the Auburn grad.

16. The Cincinnati Bengals – El Bengals de Cincinatio de Ojio en de Estados Undios emocionado con excitación that ocho cinco has now alegría sustantivo en campo ready to soccoro in any way he can to auxillio ello’s amigos. Es no todos dias not every day you find a team player like ocho cinco.

17. The Denver Broncos – I’ll always say that John Lynch helped put the Broncos on the map. Never has this team been so ecstatic about themselves since John Elway graced the gridiron. P.S. Is it just me or does Coach Shanahan have a legitimate eye problem? It really bothers me every time I see his face.

18. The Philadelphia Eagles – A healthy McNabb is a happy McNabb. Unfortunately, he hasn’t been happy for some time now. I say that’s because he has been injured and not able to be injury-free. We’ll see if McNabb is happy this season. Andy Reid eats a lot.

19. The Pittsburgh Steelers – This ranking seems low because it is. Ben R. has been forced to pass more than usual. You don’t have to look at the statistics because I already did. Bam Morris isn’t there to support the running game anymore, so Tomlin will be forced to go elsewhere to take the pressure off Big Ben.

20. The Carolina Panthers – The luckiest QB ever in the history of lucky QB’s was not the luckiest QB last season. I missed seeing tipped balls turn into touchdowns, fumbles turn into long gains, and sacks taken away because of holding against the other teams waterboy. I’m looking forward to seeing Jake pull off more magic this season.

21. The Chicago Bears – Urlacher dating Heidi Flies isn’t the best news for Da Bears fans out there. Brian needs to focus more on football and get back to aggravating opposing players. Is Rexy the answer at quarterback? Looks like Lubby thinks so.

22. The Houston Texans – Matt Schwab’s premier pedigree in the market business will only help him analyzate coverages that much more. A wild-card is a possibility with enough victories.

23. The Jacksonville Jaguars – David Garrard’s huge payday last season gives the big QB incentive to play at another level and bring his teammates along with him. I look forward to the Georgia/Florida game in Jacksonville.

24. The Minnesota Vikings – Adrian Peterson alone gets this team this high of a ranking. His fluiditiveness, speed, agility, and quickness are all assets that will offset a QB that has no business playing football.

25. The San Francisco 49ers – Coach Nolan is probably the best dressed coach in football. The spirits of the ballclub are lifted each week when they see the professionallity of their head coach. Frank Gore’s running, Alex Smith’s passing, and their wide receivers’ catching will all add up to scoring points.

26. The Oakland Raiders – Al Davis shocked the NFL League community by taking a flyer on McFadden in the first round when several other players were available. I agree with the pick. The Raiders will turn heads this season.

27. The New York Jets – With Curtis Martin’s days numbered, the time has come to look for a replacement. Tom Jones appears to be the likely candidate. It’s Not Unusual for a team to look in-house for a player ready for the next level.

28. The Baltimore Ravens – This team seems like it’s ready to compete. Ray Lewis has hit the prime of his career. Kyle Boller’s experience grows with each game he plays. Brian Billick has the pieces in place to make this a Super Bowl team again, unfortunately that won’t happen for the next 5 years.

29. The St. Louis Rams – The Greatest Show on Turf returns to the turf this season after not playing a game since the end of last season. The much needed rest during the playoffs and offseason has helped the cannon attached to Bulger’s right shoulder. It was definitely a good idea for Haslett to forfeit last season as a period for the offense to gel and prepare for this year.

30. The Arizona Cardinals – I tell you…I can’t get enough of this Matt Leinhart kid. He’s like a left-arm handed Tony Romo. He’s Mr. Limelight. Everytime I see a picture of him, he’s surrounded by ladies with a nice drink in his hand. It’s nice to see that Dennis Green drafts players that are as interested as any to give back to the community. You reap what you sow and I see victories in the Cardinals garden.

31. The Detroit Lions – I’ve ranked the Lions this low because of a grudge I still hold against the organization for it’s treatment of Barry Sanders. The only reason they are not ranked dead last is because of Roy Williams. That man alone brings the Lions to #31.

32. The Buffalo Bills – The truth is that I totally forgot about the Bills and I’ve already spent enough time typing these rankings. I believe the Bills are much better than this (at least 31a) because of their Monday Nighter against Dallas. Wade Phillips laid the groundwork for these kids to enjoy the success they are having.

So, folks, those are the power rankings as I have ranked them. Keep in mind that my system included a) strength of schedule b) cupcake opponents c) travel and d) Red Zone percentage.

I look forward to reading your thoughts and interpretations.

Thoughts?

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Ahhhhh P4T's annual PRs ... always makes for an amusing read.

Hey, I have to give you credit ... at least you included all 32 teams this year (finally) !! :lol:

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Keep in mind that my system included a) strength of schedule b) cupcake opponents c) travel and d) Red Zone percentage e) complete homerism

I look forward to reading your thoughts and interpretations.

Thoughts?

Fixed

Oh, and awful. I hope this is the only place you've posted it. You speak of it like its some valuable exclusive knowledge, when its in fact pure garbage. Is this a joke?

EDIT: After reading a few other responses I see it is some sort of joke tradition. What a relief.

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Fixed

Oh, and awful. I hope this is the only place you've posted it. You speak of it like its some valuable exclusive knowledge, when its in fact pure garbage. Is this a joke?

He does one of these every year - they have always been equally retarded.

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The Preseasonal 2008 Power Rankings of the NFL League

1. The Tampa Bay Buccanneers

Stopped reading here.... give me a minute I'll finish up your post once I grasp this.

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...and the award for Most Homeristic and Retarded Post Ever goes to......

These rankings were completely unbiased.

BTW, those have always been separate awards.

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Worst power rankings ever. Bucs and Garcia going for "yet another championship run" ?? Seriously? Garcia has exactly ZERO SBs and hasn't even been to one. Bucs have one. Good for them. You make it sound like they have several and have been serious contenders for the last 3-4 years. Get over yourself.

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He does one of these every year - they have always been equally retarded.

:lol:

I gotta admit though, now that I'm reading them from a joke stand-point, some of them are pretty funny.

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DON'T QUOTE THAT WHOLE THING!!!!!!!

THOUGHTS?? YEAH, YOU ARE A KNOW IT ALL IMBECILE, AND FULL OF YOURSELF!!

YOUR RANKINGS ARE STUPID AND TOTALLY WRONG!!! :censored:

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Preseasonal? :meh:

no.... Its the preseasonal 2008 NFL (national football league) League Power Rankings.

I probably shoulda stopped reading there!!!

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Pittman4Two, I know that you spent alot of time on those rankings, what with looking at everybody's schedule and whatnot. But, you see, the thing is, nobody cares what you think. I mean, you obviously know nothing about football if you think the Bucs, with no significant acquisitions outside of Dunn taken into account, could possibly win their own division again, let alone the championship game. The Saints and even the Panthers can beat you, and with the way the NFC South has been topsy-turvy the past several years, Atlanta could probably take you to town as well. After all, the contract of Matt Ryan says he's the 3rd best QB in the NFL. Well, Pittman4Two, you gave it your all, but unfortunately, you're just another clueless homer from another chanceless ballclub. Go join the 49ers and Bengals fans who think their next big step is right around the corner.

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THOUGHTS?? YEAH, YOU ARE A KNOW IT ALL IMBECILE, AND FULL OF YOURSELF!!

YOUR RANKINGS ARE STUPID AND TOTALLY WRONG!!! :censored:

Thanks for your cantor.

That's your opinion and you're more than welcome to have it.

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i get that this is an annual mockery ranking thing that he always does, but the thing is - this isn't even funny. There were no punch lines after the predictions that even made me think "eh, that was somewhat funny."

Total waste of everybody's time. Mainly, the stupid bucs fans though.

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BlackPooL's "High as a Kite" Ranking

1. Pittman4Two

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376077. Everyone else....

OH wait....This was supposed to be funny? I must have skipped over all the funny parts.

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You really hit your stride at #7. From then on I couldn't stop reading. Until the end.

Thanks for the smile.

yea he did.. funny stuff.. :thumbsup:

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PF2, you remain the only reason for optimism in the world of internet message boards.

Every post of yours is gold, trumped only by the predictable responses that follow them.

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